Archive for October, 2010

“Boy with a Toy Grenade in Central Park” (1962) by Diane Arbus

Sunday, October 31st, 2010

Summoning up all the wildness he possesses in his tiny frame, the little boy with the crenelated mouth is caught in a nanosecond of indecision, just before he winds up and hurls his grenade.

His empty hand, often referred to as a “claw”, forms the shape of another grenade, as successfully as a mime’s. The tension in this hand is astonishing: he grips a shape so solid and particular through empty air that you think of the circumference of an aluminum can, or a back-up grenade. Indeed, there had been a back-up grenade, lost when the boy attempted to blow up the alley next to his building (1).

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Shine On You Crazy Diamond: short fiction

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

I went to a party held by a rich old man which featured numerous female icons, including Barbra Streisand. We spoke briefly in a kind of giant bird cage. It went well, considering. Considering it was Barbra.

Martin and I had a terrible fight in the car on the way over. We passed a pretty girl all done up, lying in the street with her bare ass showing. I worried that she had been attacked, although she was surrounded by other girls. Martin snarled that this was the state of England today.

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Ins & Outs of November 2010

Sunday, October 24th, 2010
OUT IN
Dubai Qatar
public transportation cab fantasies on the subway
Kate Middleton Crown Princess Mette-Marit of Norway
overlooking Oliver Stone’s “Nixon” Oliver Stone
the upper middle class the middle class
tabloids online gossip
Harry Potter reading grown-up books
Stephanie Meyer Harry Potter
Donald Trump Prince Alwaleed bin Talal bin Abdulaziz
credit cards zero balance: the new status symbol
Champagne sparkling water
partying like it’s 2007 sanity and sobriety
the grocery store the grocery store
Paraguay Uruguay
Monaco without a Casiraghi heir Liechtenstein
arriving ignorant anywhere remembering to say “the polo”
drama queen medical shows Nurse Jackie: so realistic that they just don’t care
ultra high heels dignity
dreadlocks Hungarian Pulis
Bryan Ferry making dance music that jackass Kanye West
oppressive good taste Jackass 3D
Anna Wintour Carine Roitfeld
Arizona Hawaii
reproducing population control
the term “partner” gf/bf: childish, but doesn’t sound like your fellow cop
the Ritter subplot in “The Event” Sophia the alien on “The Event”
Rescue Me’s latest season “Luther” from BBC
the midterm elections thinking of anything positive to say about them
SNL Bronx Beat and Weekend Update on SNL
Versace Bvlgari
American Vogue The Approval Matrix in New York mag
smoking longing to smoke again with every fiber of your being
127 Hours and other sadism marathons Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Shia LaBeouf Josh Brolin
BP forever remembering last season’s apocalyptic disaster
the music of Janelle Monae the idea of Janelle Monae
Pyxis machines pharmacists
even the words “tea party” garden parties at Buck House
Obama fatigue fatigue fatigue

Serving the Community: short fiction

Saturday, October 23rd, 2010

Murray says “christ” and “what the” with confused admiration as the spider shrinks into a dot and then sucks in its gut. It hugs the join of the wall and the floor and then it suddenly flexes and recovers into a spider-shape after each of Murray’s assaults with rounded-toe boots or calico lady’s chunky fireplace poker.

Suddenly, the spider reminds me of a wiry shoplifter running full-tilt out of a bodega. In that moment, the kid, and maybe even this spider, could sail past any seven-foot Kenyan to the finish line of the city marathon no sweat.

Murray flashes me an “oops” smirk and is already moving out of the room—fuck the lady and her spider—having done his usual half-assed best.

The spider, doubtless wearing one of those awful pubescent mustaches made of individual black hairs strung out like Christmas lights, totally 2-D now, has run behind a thousand pound mahogany china cabinet that runs from floor to ceiling, solid. So that’s the end of these fun and games.

Calico lady drops her glasses on a lanyard and the Betty Boop routine. “Now what?,” she demands. I can see this ending with our badge numbers. “Call an exterminator,” Murray says unhelpfully. Calico lady doesn’t want to spend the money. She’d rather keep it in some kind of wealth management set-up than blow it on a spider. Her face is ugly now, all jowls. She’s not going to let us out the door without a fight. This kind of bitch is into service and spends her life re-decorating and sending back restaurant food. Our best defense is the illusion of flat-eyed stupidity, not a trace of empathy. I make myself as smooth as a wall, no human part for her to latch onto. No apologies, no suggestions, no conversation. Just make for the door, even as she rushes after us with a string of grabby complaints and rhetorical questions.

Back in the car, Murray enjoys a full-throated laugh, glad not to be of service. The spider is pissed and on his own time-table now. This is the part of Murray I can stand for a few minutes now and then. It doesn’t matter that he is a moron. He’s my moron for now.

Ins & Outs for October 2010

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
OUT IN
Vegas Abu Dhabi
Jonathan Franzen Philip Roth
Queen Noor of Jordan Sheikha Mohzah Bint Nasser Al Missned of Qatar
psychiatry exorcism
Pharmaceuticals for medicine Pharmaceuticals for fun
The Office Outsourced
Paul Theroux Sir V.S. Naipaul
The human race Extraterrestrials
Brazil India
India China
Vladimir Putin Saddam Hussein
All arts education that is not self-education Math, math, math
Prince William the Bald Prince Harry the Hairy
Robin Hood and historical film Mysticism in film
exploding Iceland exploding Ireland
Facebook Dropping fake Facebook friends
Fake Facebook friends Fake real friends
Admiring 200 Facebook friends Pitying 200 Facebook friends
Going out Staying in
Movie theatres Movie piracy
Manet, Monet, and cliché Banksy
Al Qaeda Red Army Faction
Bad useless thing to study: art history Good useless thing to study: history
Records, not even as fetish iPod only
iPad Laptop
Sushi Thai food
Designer Breeds Rescue Animals
Alluding to your money Keeping your trap shut
CNN CNN
Reading only the Classics Adding Kitty Kelley, royals books + mags
Details GQ
GQ Esquire
Vogue US Details
Not reading Vanity Fair Reading Vanity Fair
Fur, with no exceptions ever, ever, ever Ski suits, hi-tech fibres
The music industry Lady Gaga
The year 2010 for entertainment product 2011?
Madonna Always forgiving Madonna
Obama Hillary Clinton